This is it:

The Successful Salesman Who Specializes in Driving Customers Away

Come on in, I'm open as can be, just take off your boots, and check your coat and bags. I've got the finest collection of old books and maps in the world, but don't waste your time browsing, no need to browse in this shop, just purchase away. Who browses in book stores these days anyways? In the basement there are great bargains on rare editions of modern classics but I doubt you're interested. You can check em out if you like, only one person allowed down there at a time of course, but you better not, I don't need no hooligans pilfering ma books! They're really just old pieces of junk nobody wants anyhow, you won't like em. Yup, short and sweet is the way to do it here, you better go. I'm the best of the best, but please don't come back, nothing more awkward than eager customers. Have a swell day!

- Donald E. Rumpfort (superb book salesman)

Buisness is Good

If the shoe fits, bill it!

When it comes to making the perfect shoe, there's nobody who does it better than us. The Bill family is one of the last remaining eminent patrons of quality footwear, and as the great grandson of founding shoe craftsman Walpole Bill, i can assure you, your shoes will speak for themselves!

Eurdith Bill

Lawn Mowers of America

Farming is by no means as easy as it may seem, but we take pride in our lifestyle. We'll cut your lawn in under five minutes, guaranteed.

To know grass is to know patience.
- Moss, Peter. King Meadow, England. 1444.